After Wednesday's new seizure type I have been doing a lot of thinking about where Brynn has been and where he is going. I pulled out some of his work from last year today. The work he did after his IQ was tested the first time. It breaks my heart to look at what he wrote Thursday and compare it to what he wrote last year.
I know I am getting ahead of myself... Surely the 3 day Video EEG and MRI will give answers. At this point after this emotional roller coaster with an awake drop seizure, I am afraid of what they will say. I am afraid of the answers... I am afraid that he will continue to regress... I am afraid of loosing my little boy, my Brynnon. I am afraid that he will keep going backwards, and I am afraid that no one will ever understand him the way I do. If his own family that lives with him cannot understand him and get it, why should I expect the rest of the world to understand him? I am afraid that it will happen to Brett too... What if his complex partial seizures progress to a generalized? Obviously they are different, Brett has been normal, no speech problems, no cognitive problems or developmental delays... So, again I sit in the living room with Abigail on the recliner... sick with some kind of chest congestion and cough... watching Brynnon and Brett fall asleep on the sofa bed, while typing away on my laptop... With Hope that these words will reach another who really understands... or even better maybe these words will help a Momma one day who has a Brynn who no one understands either.... Feel like I am trying to plan a journey, I have no idea where we're going, don't have money for gas, no one has a map and worse yet no one wants to go along to help... Yipppeeeee, at least I get to leave the house besides going grocery shopping! Speaking of leaving the house, Monday is the appointment with OCDD... hopefully they have a map and prayerfully at least provide a tour guide. ~Denise
This is an example of what Brynn was capable of doing at 5 points lower on the IQ scale. This is his AVKO Spelling work completed on 3/25/2010. |
This is Brynnon's work from 9/15/2010. |
Brynn (12) Brandon (16) |
Abigail (1) Brett (7) |
Brian II (19) Tera (21) Janice (19) |
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